February 2012
15 posts
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“Generally, when someone clearly gets my gender identity and still wants to...”
– Sinclair Sexsmith. She likes my butch breasts and I don’t.
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Can Perpetrators of Relationship Abuse Be...
As a pop culture enthusiast, as well as being a staunch feminist and advocate for survivors of domestic, sexual and relationship abuse, I’ve been following the whole Rihanna/Chris Brown situation (mess) ever since 2009, when the physical attack on Rihanna was exposed to the media.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how someone who has been a perpetrator of abuse needs to...
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Just to reiterate: you can be sex-aversive AND...
lizziegoneastray:
Why is this? Because sex-positivity is not intended to be about personally wanting to have sex; it’s about supporting the right of all people of all genders to have as much or as little sex as they want without being judged by arbitrary standards of “purity” or “experience.” It’s about believing that other people’s bodies, and the ways in which they do or do not choose to...
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A huge announcement from GayWrites →
Hey guys, I’m passing this message along for my amazing and talented friend. She runs GayWrites all by herself, she’s turning it into a non-for-profit organization AND she goes to school full-time. Consider buying a sticker or two (I just did! Painless!) or helping pass this message around. Much love!
gaywrites:
Hi, friends:
I’ve been hinting at big news for GayWrites for a couple...
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S.O.S. (Safe Oral Sex)
In my high school health class, the unit on sexually transmitted infections (STIs) was dreaded and awkward. Our health teacher put up a slide show of male and female genitalia that was infected with different STIs, and ended the lecture with a discussion on safe-sex barrier methods, such as the male and female condom.
Do youemember hearing things like “Put a condom on for every sex act”...
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LOVE... breathing after rape
Rape Victim Advocates is partnering with UnSilenced Woman Press to create a chapbook, LOVE…breathing after rape, edited by Veronica Precious Bohanan that addresses life after rape by highlighting the stories of survivors who actively choose to love, heal and thrive. We are seeking survival accounts about:
How you grew to love yourself and others
How you became sex-positive and a...
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Safer Sex and Contraception for Trans* Guys
artoftransliness:
A lot of us are less than well-informed about how to have safe sex and prevent pregnancy as trans* guys, partially because there isn’t a lot of information out there specifically for us.
-For oral sex involving vulvas (vulvae?), a good way to reduce the chance of STI transmission is to use dental dams. These can be purchased at sex shops and similar locations or created using...
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“As I’ve come out over the years about different things, I’ve come to understand...”
– Jiz Lee — “How to Come Out Like A Porn Star”.
Jiz wrote this in terms of coming out as a porn star, being kinky, queer and having a trans* identity, but this can resonate to those who come out about anything. Also, Jiz Lee is awesome.
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10 reasons why I shouldn’t have had sex, but did...
Wilhemina Wang from heartbreaknympho.com has an honest collection of ten reasons she has had sex when she shouldn’t have. The list is specific to her experiences, but this is a very comparable list that people can relate to.
See the whole article here
Because I was in love with the other person. – And I either thought sex would help make them fall in love with me (worst idea ever), or that it...
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Transphobia Definition
Transphobia is a set of negative attitudes toward, fear and hatred of transgender and gender non-conforming people. This, like homophobia can be thought of as the prejudice that many cisgender (non-transgender) people hold toward transgender and gender non-conforming people.
This article highlights different types of transphobic discrimination that legislation is beginning to target, including...
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January 2012
57 posts
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Are You in Chicago? Let's Hang Out!
The Sex Positive Film Series at the Jane Addams Hull House is hosting a free Valentine’s Day screening of The Happy Hooker: Portrait of a Sexual Revolutionary. This should be a great sex positive evening for you to bring a honey or a friend to. Here’s the details…
The popular Sex Positive Documentary Film Series is holding a free screening of The Happy Hooker: Portrait of a Sexual Revolutionary...
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“In many ways, the kink scene seems light-years ahead of other sexual communities...”
– Tracy Clarke-Flory. When Safe Words are Ignored.
Interesting article on consent in the BDSM community, and the fear of submissives to use safe words when their boundaries are crossed, and the ways in which others in the community dismiss this sexual assault.
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rosemedley asked: Oh wow, I think I'm in love! I've only recently started to become active in ideas and discussions of sexuality, sexism, gender stereotyping, etc. and I have to say that I'm so happy to have found this blog! It's so refreshing to see a young adult like myself (I'm 18) willing and WANTING to discuss these issues. Most of my friends and such become nervous and flippant when I...
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“Slut” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “yes”....”
– via avid
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Sexual Surrogates
When I tell people that I want to become a sex therapist, the reactions are quite varied. I’ve been asked by several people outright if I’m going to have sex with people as a part of their therapy. As outrageous and mythical as that sounds, that profession does exist, and goes by the name of Sexual Surrogates.
Sexual surrogacy is a practice that goes hand-in-hand with sex therapy. A...
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“Using data from 3 studies of men and women engaging in masturbation or...”
– “The post-orgasmic prolactin increase following intercourse is greater than following masturbation and suggests greater satiety.” from Biol Psychol. 2006 Mar;71(3):312-5. Epub 2005 Aug 10.
**I know this relates specifically to penile-vaginal intercourse, but this is still an...
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Almost Half of Women Have Sexual Dysfunction?
Previous surveys have reported similar estimates of female sexual dysfunction, including low desire and problems with orgasm. The most widely quoted figure, from the U.S. National Health and Social Life Survey, is 43 percent. — US News.
The “scientific” discussion that 43% of women are experiencing sexual dysfunction upsets me. If such a large portion of women are...
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Progressive Pleasure Club
The Progressive Pleasure Club is a network of independent sex shops dedicated to helping people make informed decisions about sexuality products. They are committed to the promotion of accurate and honest pleasure-based sexuality education, and to offering products that meet the highest standards of safety.
The Rubber Rose, San Diego, CA
https://therubberrose.com/store/
Early to Bed, Chicago,...
“Conception rates reach their annual peak in December, with 9 percent of all U.S....”
– It’s High Time for Conception: Studies Show Peak Times, Weather for Sex. The Daily Beast.
See other interesting facts about the timing of conception and sex!
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Yoga Enhances Our Sex Lives
A well written account, complete with scientific studies shows us how doing specific kinds of yoga benefit our sex lives. And no, it’s not the “increasing flexibility to get into that weird Cosmo position” that you probably thought of.
Find it here. And for those that want the abbreviated version:
1. Tantra Yoga Promotes Sexual Vitality
Mula bandha improves arousal, prostate...
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Kink & Fetish Terms: Cuckold
Cuckold (n): A person who gains sexual pleasure in the knowledge that his/her partner has made love, or is making love to other people. Cuckolds are usually submissive, and might ‘enjoy’ sexual humiliation.
This term has been around since the 13th century, referring to the cuckoo bird, as some varieties of the birds laid their eggs in other birds’ nests. Currently a cuckold...
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“I am a “sex-positive” Black woman, and I believe that the sexual...”
– The Sex-Positive Black Woman by Arielle Loren
A wonderful piece on the sex positivity movement, and how it can be embraced by all.
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Are You Ready to Have Sex?
Ask yourself these questions, and consider all the physical and mental possibilities before having sex.
Is your decision to have sex completely your own (you feel no pressure from others, including your partner)?
Is your decision to have sex based on the right reasons? (It shouldn’t be based on peer pressure, a need to fit in or make your partner happy, or a belief that sex is the only...
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“As I became more and more exposed to positive representations of queer bodies...”
– PLEASE, GO READ THIS IN ITS ENTIRETY. THEN SHARE IT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. Absolutely amazing autobiographical piece on trans* dyke coming into her own skin!
http://thelstop.org/2012/01/a-trans-dyke-on-passing-and-unwanted-privilege/
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Follow me on Twitter! →
I just created a Twitter account for this blog. It’ll get sexier and more positive (lame joke!) as time goes on. Promise! Also, if you have suggestions what else to tweet about, aside from new posts of course, please send them in!
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“There may be “just” 9 million LGBT Americans – but that number that...”
– Dan Savage. Rick Santorum’s homophobic frothing.
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“The easy headline here is that L.A. protects workers,” says Tristan...”
– NPR. Porn Industry Faces Condom Requirement in Los Angeles.
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Kink & Fetish Terms: Kink and Fetish
The terms “kink” and “fetish” may mean different things, and hold different meanings within popular culture and in psychosocial discourse. In colloquial terms, both kink and fetish can mean anything that is outside of typical, ‘vanilla’ sex. LGBT sex, BDSM, and gender bending, as well as too many to list, all fall under these kink and fetish umbrellas.
These...
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Northwestern CARE Setting a Precedent
My alma mater has been brought into the spotlight several times in the last few years, most notably for the FuckSaw, but the news of the first coordinator for the Northwestern Center for Awareness, Response and Education (CARE) is shedding some positive light on all that the campus does for healthy sexuality and sexual assault prevention. Eva Ball became the first coordinator for CARE, a brand new...
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rewind-button-girl asked: Not a question, but I just wanted to let you know that I discovered your blog tonight and literally went through every page. I had to keep myself from reblogging every post. Suffice it to say, thanks for getting a sex positive message out there.
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Sex positivity and other lies on Tumblr
madamethursday:
I remember my first encounters with the sex positivity/sex positive movement, especially through the internet. I remember loving the basic principle of the thing: “Sex is awesome! No one should be ashamed of their sexuality or wanting sex! Let’s bring it out into the open so we can all enjoy a healthy, happy relationship with sex!”
I can get with that, really.
But there was...
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“This state of affairs—couples who experimented with nonmonogamy and wound up...”
– Dan Savage, on how being ‘monogamish’ is a healthy option for some people.
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Fun Sex Fact: Pre-cum doesn't contain sperm
In the Journal of Assisted Reproduction Genetics, 2003 Apr;20(4):157-9. Zukerman asked “Does pre-ejaculatory penile secretion originating from Cowper’s gland contain sperm?” Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Rabin Medical Center, Petah Tikva, Israel. Their conclusion was “Pre-ejaculatory fluid secreted at the tip of the urethra from Cowper’s gland during...
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